I was 19 when I first had full-on sex with another man. I was at college, living in dorms, and the experience—aside from the usual horrifying awkwardness and somewhat spontaneity of the occasion—was completely and utterly unremarkable aside from one thing: the guy I slept with identified as straight. It was late or early, depending on your outlook on the world when I was joined by the boy who was living in the room next to mine, way back on the other side of the building. He was clearly intoxicated, but it was a party after all and who was I, quite drunk myself, to judge.
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Or maybe he just likes to pretend that he does. Most guys in the world are straight. If you like men, it's only a matter of time until you're going to find a straight one attractive; they're all over the place. Under most circumstances, this doesn't have to be a big deal. You see a guy you like, you realize quickly enough that he's straight, and you move on.
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The film has also garnered some "straightwash" pushback — the accusation that the movie diluted its gay source material to make itself more palatable to straight audiences — as the conversation about this film falling into a Hollywood trend of preferring to cast straight actors in prominent LGB roles is slowly gaining momentum. This is a new manifestation of an old story — critically-lauded LGB-themed films of past few years like Moonlight and Carol also starred straight actors. To convince Hollywood executives and casting directors that LGB-themed films with LGB actors playing LGB roles can be critically and commercially successful across wide audiences, entertainment insiders and consumers alike can use their money, influence and social media platforms to support, promote, and elevate LGB-inclusive content, while using those same resources to push back against content they find exclusionary. What about giving me one for playing a straight man?
The advent of the internet has made these discreet, anonymous encounters with curious men incredibly easy. There is little, or nothing, in the way of guilt. I was initially sceptical, but this arrangement seems to work for everyone: the wife knows she has no competition from another woman; the husband knows he does not want a life with another man. Other straight men are keen to try a threesome with a gay couple, as my husband and I have discovered using hook-up apps.